Last night I learned something that sent me into the stratosphere. I was very angry. Very angry. I was going to blog about the whole thing then luckily I had a moment of clarity. I was going to call the offending parties and yell and scream. But then my daily scripture calendar said this,"A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger." (Proverbs 15:1) In light of this scripture I have decided to take a different slant with this post. I want to share with you what I have learned from this recent experience so far.
I have learned that actions speak louder than words. Much, much louder. Like actions are caring a huge megaphone and words are just a little mouse in the corner. After 20 years of being told one thing an action completely nullified those words. What a shame. I was never really sure that the words were the truth but I never thought they would be denied either.
Here is the bigger picture lesson is this: No wonder God says that it takes both Faith and Works to return to live with Him. It is fairly easy to say you believe something. It is even easy to fool ourselves into believing that we believe something by saying it enough. The true test is not just the saying but in the actions that follow our belief.
Much like the early pioneers. They not only said they believed, but when the call was made to move West they packed up their families and a few of their belongings and followed the command. Do we really believe enough to follow whatever the call? Are we as the pioneers or are we as this person who has ticked me off?
I know we have all had times in our lives when we have been tested and have failed. It is called sin. We know something is not right but we do it anyway.
But what is it that brings us back from that state of sin? We recognize our mistake and ask for forgiveness and God in his goodness forgives us.
Now here comes the biggest problem I am having with this analogy. I am wondering if in my imperfect state if I can forgive this wrong. I also am wondering what to do if no apology is made. I know that forgiveness is for me and not the other person but 20 years of lies? Somehow in my human weakness I am trying to calculate how one should have to pay for this. I know it isn't the way it should be, but my humanness is complicating it.
Do any of you have any wisdom on this for me? I know you do because I have the wisest blog readers out there.
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5 comments:
I am so sorry someone has hurt you!!! That is horrible! Without knowing any of the details all the advice I can give to you is very simple and one you already know...prayer. Pray hard to forgive because this person or people probably never will say sorry from the sounds of it. Plus, from personal and very painful experience, calling someone on something usually doesn't turn out good. Just my two cents. Good luck. We love you!
I agree with Caity. Prayer, neccesary...and letting time pass seems to help heal the hurt. I'm not a fan of confrontation either, not that you should let it fester in you either. It just has to get put back on them. They did this. it is their problem. They are the ones accountable for what they did. You move on & don't allow them to hurt you any more.
Excellent post Andrea.
Yes, I agree with Nikki and Caity...prayer is what you need right now. Maybe others to pray for you too.
Without knowing what actually has happened to you, it's hard to give you any advice, but we always know that prayer can bring some sort of comfort. It sounds like this thing is still fresh right now, so perhaps that's why you are feeling like you might not be able to forgive this person or persons. But maybe after time and prayer, you might see different. It sounds like you are trying all ready to understand and sort it all out. Maybe talking with someone who is not involved in any way, might help some? I dunno..that's just my thoughts.
I'll say some prayers for you in hopes that you get some clairity and find the peace.
Don't waste your energy on him.
This is very well put, Andrea, and so timely for me. Who knew I needed to check your blog at 6 am on Christmas Eve? :)
From my experience, forgiveness is necessary for your own progression. But it's not something to be done lightly. For me, forgiveness isn't forgetting, but it is a promise not to bring up the past wrong in the future, especially to rub it in or hurt the offender. That's why it takes a long time. Sometimes it requires confrontation, sometimes it doesn't. The lack of an apology
makes it infinitely harder, but it's still possible.
I have to say that I'm not one to let things slide if I'm wronged or if my feelings are hurt. I absolutely hate being mad at someone when they don't even know it. But that's me.
I hope you can find some peace, and eventually closure. Sounds like a rough situation.
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